Friday, March 22, 2013

Me, Myself, and My Thoughts

When I was in College, I used to have these random moments where I distance myself from the crowd, sometimes even the whole world and put myself in an alter universe where it's just me, myself and my thoughts. Yes, I am one of those who just looooove to think - A LOT. Back then, while other kids spent their quiet time reading fiction books, my "alone" moments were spent thinking about how good life is and imagining how life can get even better. I just reflect about my life and try to inspire myself by what I see and feel, and by the people around me. I was very optimistic then when life was very simple. 

I can say that I've carried this optimism of mine all throughout my career life. I'm really good in finding a way and fixing things. M-A-K-E I-T W-O-R-K. That's my motto. *snaps from left-right-left* Although I do have my breaking points, I get back up and finish with a bang. Finishing a successful campaign or an event were my proudest moments. *sigh* 

Another thing about me is that I always see goodness in people even how difficult they may be. Since I love "fixing" things, I have this attraction to people with psychological and personality distress whom I make my personal mission to "fix." I specially love to do this when I was a kid and my favorite were younger kids who are very pasaway (hard headed). That's one of the reasons why I considered taking Psychology and thought of mastering Child Psychology. For me, they are just misunderstood and are most in need of help and attention. I'm glad to say that I had few "projects" that were successful. *another proud moment* Again, I was optimistic then when life was simple.

While I am struck by realities of life now, "thinking" becomes "worrying" and "optimism" becomes "doubt." Although I still appreciate my alone time, worrying and doubt - a deadly combination- is just sucking the life out of me, up to the point where I cannot breathe and I don't know how I can pick myself up again. Sometimes I think I'm going into this depression that I've never in my whole life thought I would ever experience. Well, maybe I always knew that I had this 1% possibility of going crazy because I just think too much. If you've ever watched "I Don't Know How She Does It" - this is me now (somehow). And I think some wives and most mothers can relate to this. 


I'm sure you've heard about the saying "do not focus on what you don't have but on what you have because some people have less" or something to that effect. Well, it is really easier said than done, specially when you used to have more. 

Funny thing is, even how much time I spent thinking (partially planning the future) when I was in College, I never got to prepare for this - real adult life - where some (or most) responsibilities are really a burden. I recently read this Facebook post of someone's thoughts about the UP student who gave up on life because her family cannot afford to pay her tuition, *so sad* that because kids these days have it too easy versus what the older generation (our parents) went through, when life way back then was much even harder, we tend to easily give up when life gets a bit difficult. Maybe the person who wrote the article is right because my parents started from zero and the case was different when were growing up. We had it easy. Maybe too easy that glitches in life sometimes rattle me like what it is doing to me now. But then again, I am a fighter and I will face life with a bang. 

Probably these thoughts that I am sharing won't mean anything to you, although I hope it will. It just really helps me when I pour my heart and thoughts into writing and I hope that this will also help people who are experiencing the same things that I do with this post. I am not an expert in life specially on giving life advice but in my (still) short life experience, I'll leave you with these:

* Motivate. Surround yourself with people you have the same goal with. OR be the motivator and encourage the people around you to finish what they started.  
* Share. Even how less you have now, still share whatever centavo you have left to share.  If you believe in karma like I do, everything will come back to you a hundredfold. 
* Love. Give all the love that you can give. Blessings will pour back in when you least expect it.
* God. When in doubt, pray.

“Promise Yourself"

To be so strong that nothing
can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity
to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel
that there is something in them
To look at the sunny side of everything
and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best,
and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past
and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times
and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud words but great deeds.
To live in faith that the whole world is on your side
so long as you are true to the best that is in you.” 



xoxo

The Clueless Mrs.

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