I know you guys are more excited to read about my extremely OC wedding preps but don't worry, we'll get to that part. I want to start with the foundations first because no relationship will last without a solid base.
As a young, analytical (feeling psychologist) teenager, I tried to decipher the dos & don'ts, the deal breakers and whatnots in a relationship. I have experienced and mostly heard from friends to friends' friends about common GF-BF problems from jealousy to third-parties.
In the hopes of creating a healthy, stress-free GF-BF environment that I thought could work for both parties, I formulated a set of Relationship Rules that I told JM before at the very early stage of our love affair. So, in no particular order...
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| I just got this in the internet but she looks independent right? |
I'm an independent girl. It is NOT your responsibility to "hatid-sundo" me (to escort or to be my driver) all the time. The same way that I don't like guys who are possessive, I don't like girls who are needy. Does this make sense? Hope so.
When there's conflict in schedule, always prioritize your family and your gimmick with friends. Spending at least 10% of your time with me is okay. This may sound weird but hey, I loved you for what and WHO you are and I don't want YOU to CHANGE all because I'm your girlfriend already. Your hobbies, your friends and your family make who you are as a person, your identity, which leads me to my next rule: Never lose yourself and do not make me your world.
Personal time is very important for me because that's how we grow as our own, separate, individual beings. Do you agree? Or am I just not that clingy?
Heard this from my tita and we lived by this principle ever since. Do not love me too much. Always love yourself more. No one know what the future holds and if God has different plans for us and we end up not being with each other, I want you to be able to LIVE without me.
If you think about it, if you know that your partner will always love himself/ herself more and can leave you in a glimpse of an eye because you did something majorly wrong (ie. cheat), you'll never take each other for granted because you know he/ she can be gone without hesitation. In our 7 year relationship before the wedding plans, we always remind each other this and I also shared this with my sister. Hope she learned something from me.
Compromise. Now, there's a thin line between compromise and just plain being submissive. The perfect compromise is when both parties find the happy medium between their wants. It is not sacrificing what you want and your principles with the hopes of getting what you want the next time around. Agree or disagree? All up to you...
Transparency & Honesty. Girls, Men are not fortune tellers. Whatever hints, silent treatments you do won't just work. Unfortunately, they are that clueless... To make it easier for both, whatever your problem is, just spit it out and tell it to his face plainly. In the same manner, boys, be honest. We are not psychics too.
For relationships to last, it is also important to know each other's LOVE languages, there are five and it varies from person to person. I learned this from one of our professors in College and they are Physical Touch, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service and Receiving of Gifts. To learn more about Love Languages, click here.
These are my thoughts. I'm not sure if this will help anyone but I do hope so.
xoxo,
The Clueless Mrs.
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