I've been reading a lot of 2012 thank you-s and goodbyes and 2013 greetings from a lot of bloggers that I follow over the holidays and I've been desperately wanting to do one too. And believe me, I have tried...
Time and time again, I find myself open a blank page attempting a new post to greet the New Year but NOTHING is just coming out. Few minutes of staring at a completely blank page then stirs me into an overwhelming anxiety attack with a mix of frustration and disappointment being fought by a little spark of hope and optimism I have deep inside, that begged the questions - Was my 2012 legendary? Have I done enough to make myself believe that 2012 was a success? Have I achieved my goals? - and just when I'm about to get myself to type a single word, I end up shutting my laptop off and save my thoughts and my attempted blog post for another day, with the hopes of having a clearer head.
With my obvious week of silence, it took me some time to realize and acknowledge the reason behind this anxiety.
To be honest, I do not want 2012 to end just yet because there are still a lot of things I want to do (to fix) and it took some courage for me to finally admit to myself that I am really just down cold scared to face 2013.
I have been known to be a person who's always in control of my life and always has a 3-year plan. And I hate to admit that 2012 was a blur because I really didn't know how to find myself and answer my own question "What's next?" While great opportunities found its way into my path with my cluelessness and this big hanging "?" (question mark) over my head, I'm am still soooo afraid to enter yet another year with having no clearer sense of direction.
To be honest, I do not want 2012 to end just yet because there are still a lot of things I want to do (to fix) and it took some courage for me to finally admit to myself that I am really just down cold scared to face 2013.
I have been known to be a person who's always in control of my life and always has a 3-year plan. And I hate to admit that 2012 was a blur because I really didn't know how to find myself and answer my own question "What's next?" While great opportunities found its way into my path with my cluelessness and this big hanging "?" (question mark) over my head, I'm am still soooo afraid to enter yet another year with having no clearer sense of direction.
Segue to my last blog post with a renewed sense of hope, determination and much optimism, I got myself looking back at a brighter 2012 series of events, where I...
January - Married the love of my life, got myself my very first iPhone, went to Misibis Bay for the Honeymoon and moved in to our new condo.
February - Traveled to Boracay for my friend's wedding
March - Modeled for BPI and got myself a billboard!
April - Resigned from work, Started the Clueless Mrs. and Officially registered my weddings & events coordination biz.
May - Traveled to Majayjay B&B for a quick labor day retreat and went for a swim at Taytay Falls, Tandemed with Georgina Wilson for a Garnier ad, Joined Open Philippines, met BNO and reunited with Ramon Bautista after 5 years.
June - Achieved a successful Axe Anarchy Raid Event and met Petra Mahalimuyak and Traveled to Singapore.
July - Learned how to play Football.
August - Publicly launched my blog - the Clueless Mrs. - and received an overwhelming response.
September - Launched Axe Anarchy Island Sexy Saves Boracay Campaign.
October - Went to the TikTik Movie Premiere and met Dingdong Dantes, Attended the Philippine Fashion Week for the very first time, Went back to Boracay and jumped off a cliff and survived!
November - Achieved a successul Axe Anarchy Island Bikini Auction Party to save Boracay and Started to get invited to events as a blogger.
December - Got a makeover, Now acknowledged as an official blogger, and Realized my long-shot true destiny and first love and passion - FASHION.
Christopher Gardner: Hey. Don't ever let somebody tell you... You can't do something. Not even me. All right?
Christopher: All right.
Christopher Gardner: You got a dream... You gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin', go get it. Period.
Looking back now, my 2012 wasn't so bad... (right?) My traditional, old-school dad would probably still not approve of the plans I have to follow my dreams and I might second-guess myself from time to time again BUT as I promised myself before and I promise myself now, "I WILL NEVER STOP TRYING." And this is what I will carry this 2013.
So, to my readers and to the rest of the world, Happy New Year and may you all have a fruitful and inspiring 2013!
xoxo,
The Clueless Mrs.
It was a hectic 2012, indeed. And Boracay has been a major part of it. May your 2013 be a blast, Clueless Mrs. Our warmest regards.
ReplyDeleteThanks BoracayStories! Hopefully, I get to experience more of Boracay this 2013. ;)
Delete